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I PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA [23031] *** Transduzione Discordiana inselezionata da ERISIANO V - POEE und KALLISTI - CRXM MEDITERRANEA *** Arricchita da Inserti Fnords ->:<- *********************************************** "In verità, in verità vi dico che sto mentendo." - dal Libro Originale, trascritto dal Libro Prima Del Libro Originale, UBNM#A2021 *********************************************** "Se Domani diventa Ieri, allora Ieri era Domani." - dal Libro Originale, trascritto dal Libro Trascritto Prima Del Libro Originale, UBNM#A2020 *********************************************** I PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA: Fork Italiano from THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA V Archivi a cura di Associazione Salvaguardia Arti e Mestieri; Pubblicazione CRXM CrossMedia Italia - www.crxm.net - 2020; Ciao, e Complimenti per aver scaricato questo Arcano Documento! Non ricordi di aver letto queste parole nel sito? Cominci ad Illuminarti. Questo Fnord ->:<- diventa reale solo in quanto percepito in questo modo; Dovresti sapere che l'ultimo corno di una Cornucopia crea una Cornucopia. Invece di perderti tra i precetti dell'Ordine: tanto non esiste alcuno FNORDFNORDFNORdFNORdfnordFNORDFnordFNORDFNORdfnoRDFNORDFNORDFnorDFNORDFNORDFnord fnORdfnordfnORdfnORDfnordfnORdfnoRDFnordfnoRDFNordFNordfnordFNOrdfNOrdfnordFNOrd fnORdfnordfnordfnORDFnordfnORdfnORDfnordfnorDFNordFNordfnordfNOrdfNOrdfnordfnORD fnORdfnordfnordfnORdFNordfnORdfnORdfnordfnordFNordFNordfnordfNOrdfNOrdfnordfnoRD fnORdfnoRDfnordfnORdfNOrdfnORdfnORdfnordfnordFNordFNordfnordFNOrdfNOrdfnordfnoRD fnORDFNORDfnordfnORdfnORdfnORdfnORdfnordfnordFNordFNORDFNORDFnordfNOrdfnordfnoRD fnORdfnoRDfnordfnORdfnoRDfnORdfnORdfnordfnordFNordFNordfnORdfnordfNOrdfnordfnoRD fnORdfnordfnordfnORdfnorDFnORdfnORdfnordfnordFNordFNordfnoRDfnordfNOrdfnordfnoRD fnORdfnordfnordfnORdfnordFNORdfnORDfnordfnorDFNordFNordfnorDFnordfNOrdfnordfnORD fnORdfnordfnordfnORdfnordfNORdfnoRDFnordfnoRDFNordFNordfnordFNordfNOrdfnordFNOrd FNORDFnordfnordFNORDFnordfnORDFnordFNORDFNORdfnoRDFNORdfnoRDFNOrDFNORDFNORDFnord Fnord ->:<- CHARSET UNICODE renderà più chiaro lo Fnord che non esiste ->:<- *********************************************** "Quando la mente si apre a nuove idee non torna più delle dimensioni originarie" - Albert Einstein "Se è per questo, neanche il culo." - Éva Henger *********************************************** Fnord ->:<- da restituire a crxm.net?contacts *********************************************** Fnord ->: Del Probiviro Aneristico Discordiano Discordante KdPM - CRXM ITALIA GOLDEN CORP. MMXX _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Un sorso di vino, Una coscia di agnello, E Tu! Accanto a me, sussurri nel buio. Non perderti tra i precetti dell'Ordine. - Libro di Uterus 1;5 _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alcuni estratti dall'intervista con Malaclypse il Giovane di THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETYCABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP. GREATER POOP: Sei veramente serio o cosa? MAL-2: a volte prendo l'umorismo seriamente. A volte prendo la serietà con umorismo. Entrambi i modi sono irrelevanti. GP: Forse sei solo pazzo. M2: Infatti! Ma non scartare come falsi questi insegnamenti solo perchè io sono pazzo. La ragione per cui io sono pazzo è che loro sono veri. GP: Eris è vera? M2: Tutto è vero. GP: Anche le cose false? M2: Anche le cose false sono vere. GP: Come può essere questo? M2: Io non lo so uomo, non l'ho fatto io. GP: Perchè tratti tanta negatività? M2: Per dissolverla. GP: Ci stai riuscendo? M2: No. GP: Esiste un significato essenziale dietro POEE? M2: Esiste un racconto Zen su di uno studente che chiede al Maestro di spiegargli il significato del Buddismo. La risposta del Maestro fù "tre libbre di lino". GP: È questa la risposta alla mia domanda? M2: Ovviamente no. Era solo figurativo. La risposta alla tua domanda è CINQUE TONNELLATE DI LINO! _______________________________________________ ANNICHILIMENTO SOSPESO _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Principia Discordia * ossia * Come ho trovato la Dea e cosa ne ho fatto quando l'ho trovata Inizio una introduzione introduttiva ai Misteri Erisiani Che è molto più interesante ->:<- _______________________________________________ Come divinamente rivelato al mio alto Reverendo Malaclypse Il Giovane, Polipadre Omnivolente della Verginità Dorata e Vescovo del PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD di ERIS ESOTERICA (POEE) HAIL ERIS!->:<-KALLISTI->:<-ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! ****************** ossia *********************** I PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA, PRIMA EDIZIONE ITALIANA http://www.crxm.net/index/index/PRINCIPIA.txt ****************** ossia *********************** THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA, FIFTH EDITION http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/body.html ****************** ossia *********************** THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or, How I Found the Goddess and What I Did To Her When I Found Her http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia ****************** ossia *********************** THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER Wherein Is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything Published By: LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED, PO BOX 1197, Port Townsend, WA 98368 $5.00(cheap) Catalogs:$2.00 Note: Loompanics went out of business in 2006; Fnords ->: in origine *** _______________________________________________ Dedicato alla più Bella. _______________________________________________ Inizio dell'applauso ad una mano. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CABALA JOSHUA NORTON Mischia di Surrealisti, Arlecchinisti, Assurdisti e Artisti Stonati. POEE è una manifestazione della SOCIETA' DISCORDIANA sulla quale più impari meno capisci. Noi siamo una tribù di filosofi, teologi, maghi, scienziati, artisti, pagliacci e maniaci simili, intrigati da ERIS DEA della CONFUSIONE e da ciò che essa compie. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Io ti dico: bisogna avere un caos dentro di sé per partorire una stella danzante! - Nietzsche _______________________________________________ I CINQUE COMANDAMENTI (THEPENTABARF) THEPENTABARF furono scoperti dall'Apostolo Eremita Zarathud nel Quinto Anno del Millepiedi. Li trovò incisi nella roccia dorata, mentre costruiva una veranda per la sua caverna, ma la loro importanza andò perduta poichè erano scritti in un codice misterioso. Tuttavia, dopo 10 settimane e 11 ore di intenso scrutare, ne discerne che il messaggio poteva essere letto guardandolo sottosopra. _______________________________________________ UOMO DI FEDE CONOSCI QUESTO! I - Non vi è Dea oltre alla Dea e lei è la tua Dea. Non vi è Movimento Eristico oltre al Movimento Eristico e questo è il Movimento Eristico. E ogni Corporazione Dorata è l'Amata Casa di un Verme Dorato. II - Un Discordiano userà sempre il Sistema Discordiano di Numerazione Documenti. III - Un Discordano durante la sua prima Illuminazione uscirà in solitudine di Venerdì per consumare gioiosamente un Hot Dog; questa cerimonia votiva contesta il paganesimo popolare della giornata: dei Cattolici Cristiani (niente Carne il Venerdì), degli Ebrei e Mussulmani (niente Carne di Maiale), delle persone Indù (niente Carne di Vacca), dei Buddisti (niente Carne), e dei Discordiani (niente Panini per HotDog) IV - Un Discordiano non consumerà panini per HotDog, poichè ciò fù il conforto della nostra Dea per l'Affronto Originale. V - A un Discordiano è proibito di credere in ciò che legge. _______________________________________________ COSÌ È STATO SCRITTO! COSÌ SIA. HAIL DISCORDIA! I PERSEGUITORI SARANNO TRASGREDITI. _______________________________________________ Quesito dalla Cabala Topanga Scuola dei Dodici Famosi Buddha Spirituali: "Se sono nostri fratelli, come mai non possiamo mangiarli?" _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ UNA STORIA ZEN di Camden Benares, La Conta dei Cinque, Capomastro, Cabala Camp Meeker Un discepolo trovò seriamente confusi i conflitti della metà del 20° secolo. Andò da molte persone in cerca di un modo per risolvere le discordie interiori che lo turbavano, rimanendone perlopiù turbato. Una notte, in una caffetteria, l'Auto-Eletto Maestro Zen gli disse: "Vai nella dimora fatiscente che troverai a questo indirizzo che ho scritto per te. Non parlare a coloro che vivono lì; devi rimanere in silenzio fino a quando la luna non sorge la sera seguente. Vai nella grande stanza a destra del corridoio principale, siediti nella posizione del loto in cima alle macerie nell'angolo nord-est, faccia rivolta all'angolo, e medita." Lui fece esattamente quanto gli aveva ordinato il Maestro Zen. La sua meditazione venne interrotta da frequenti preoccupazioni. Si preoccupava che il resto degli impianti idraulici cadesse dal bagno del secondo piano per unirsi ai tubi e a gli altri rifiuti su cui era seduto. Si preoccupava di sapere quando la luna fosse sorta la notte successiva. Si preoccupava di cosa le persone che attraversavano la stanza dicessero di lui. La sua preoccupazione e la sua meditazione furono disturbate quando, come in una prova di fede, l'ammasso cadde dal secondo piano su di lui. A quel punto due persone entrarono nella stanza. Il primo chiese al secondo chi fosse l'uomo seduto li. Il secondo rispose "Alcuni dicono sia un Santo. Altri dicono sia un coglione". Sentendo questo, l'uomo fù Illuminato <- : 404 NON TROVATO *********************************************** http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/OLD/illumination.html 20/01/2020 - ERROR 404. PAGE NOT FOUND! -> _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Telegramma Western Union Per: Jehova Yahweh Presso: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666), Piano Presidenziale, Paradiso. Caro Dio; La presente per informarti che la tua attuale posizione di divinità è qui risolta a causa di grave incompetenza STOP Ti verrà spedito il tuo assegno STOP Prego non usarmi come referenza STOP Rispettosamente, Malaclypse il Giovane / Omnibenevolente PoliPadre Sommo Sacerdote POEE _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10. La Terra trema e il cielo sibila; le bestie della natura si radunano e le nazioni degli uomini si dividono; i vulcani generano calore mentre altrove l'acqua diventa ghiaccio e si scioglie; poi negli altri giorni piove solamente. 11. Anzi, molte cose accadono. - HBT; Il Libro delle Predizioni, cap.19 <------------------------------------------------------------ LA NASCITA DEL MOVIMENTO ERISTICO La Rivelazione Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen- fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant.... Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion." First I Must Sprinkle You With Fairy Dust Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned. The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped. There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men. "Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!" And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin- yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness. ERIS - Goddess of Chaos, Discord & Confusion They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private. They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as Eris and to the Romans as Discordia. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice: I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding. You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun. I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free. During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that Eris or Discordia was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order. With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them: It is called the Sacred Chao. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as Discord, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland. "What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!" And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be. Fnord ->: _______________________________________________ "Ci sono verità banali e ci sono grandi verità. L'opposto di una banale verità è chiaramente falso. L'opposto di una grande verità è dunque vero." - Neils Bohr _______________________________________________ "Sai che ci sono milioni di bigliettoni nascosti nella casa qui a fianco?" "Ma non ci sono case qui a fianco." "No? Allora andiamo a costruine una!" - MARX _______________________________________________ Fnord ->:<- *********************************************** Nota: questo Fnord ->:<- non è uno Fnord ->:<- ma era un originale Fnord ->: _______________________________________________ Momomoto, Famoso Japponese, può risucchiare il suo naso. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Circolo di Cucito della SS. Trinità SUPPORTA LA TUA POLIZIA LOCALE L'INNO DELLA BATTAGLIA DELL'ERISTOCRAZIA di Lord Omar VERSI Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao; - La mia mente ha meditato sulla rotazione del Chao; It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now - Si libra sul tavolo dove si trovano ora i capi di Stato Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb; - Riuniti in discussione sullo sgancio della Bomba; Her Apple Corps is strong! CORO Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! Her Apple Corps is strong! VERSI She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;* - Lei non fù invitata alla festa che diedero al Limbo Peak;* So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek! - Così lanciò una Mela d'Oro, invece di porgergli l'altra guancia! O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak; - O spezzò il Santo Punchbowl e ne fece fuoriuscire ambrosia; Her Apple Corps is strong! _______________________________________________ * "Limbo Peak" si riferisce all' Antica Vetta Limbo, comunemente chiamata dai Greci "Ol' Limb' Peak." _______________________________________________ Se un donchisciottesco socratico studiasse lo zen sotto Zorba ...? _______________________________________________ "La marea sta cambiando ... il nemico sta subendo terribili perdite" - Gen. Geo. A. Custer _______________________________________________ ~~ VECCHIO MOTTO POEE ~~ Se sei dubbioso, fanculo. Se non sei dubbioso ... fatti venire i dubbi! _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Persone nella posizione di conoscenza, Inc. SULLA PREGHIERA Venne chiesto a Mal-2 dai sui discepoli se pregasse spesso Eris. Lui replicò con queste parole: No, noi Erisiani raramenete preghiamo, è troppo pericoloso. Charles Fort cita molti eventi concreti di persone ignoranti che affrontando, diciamo, una siccità pregando con fervore -- fecero poi spazzare via l'intero villaggio in un torrente alluvionale. _______________________________________________ "Certo che sono pazzo, ma ciò non significa che mi sbagli. Sono pazzo ma non malato" - Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IL SAGGIO PORPORA HBT; Il Libro delle Predizioni, Cap. 19 Il paradiso è sotto. L'inferno è sopra. Questo è provato dal fatto che i pianeti e le stelle sono ordinati nei loro movimenti, mentre sotto la terra andiamo vicini al Caos primordiale. Ci sono altre quattro prove, ma le ho dimenticate. _______________________________________________ IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS Il significato di questo è sconosciuto - Josh the Dill, Kabala King Kong _______________________________________________ SONO FERMAMENTE CONVINTO SIA UN ERRORE ESSERE FERMAMENTE CONVINTI. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ L'Antichità Classica non venne influenzata dall'Antichità Classica. _______________________________________________ COSA SAPPIAMO SU ERIS (non molto) I romani lasciarono un ritratto per i posteri - viene mostrata come una donna grottesca con uno sguardo scialbo e orribile, occhi infuocati, vestito lacero e strappato, con un pugnale nascosco nel seno. *** I Greci la ritraevano come un corridore femminile alato dalle lunghe scarpe ricurve. Raffigurata anche sullo scudo di Achille, e mentre volteggia intorno a Phobos (la paura) sullo scudo di Eracle (Ercole). La sua genealogia greca è totalmente confusa. È sia gemella di Ares e figlia di Zeus e Era, sia figlia di Nyx, Dea della Notte (a sua volta figlia o moglie di Caos, o entrambe), generata dalla sola Nyx o con Erebus (fratello di Nyx, i cui fratelli e sorelle includono Morte, Destino, Scherno e Amicizia). E che generò Biasimo, Litigi, Bugie e un gruppo di Divinità e Dee del genere. Fnord ->:<- ERIS [m]RdD.MMXX ********************************************** dal greco antico Ἔρις, "conflitto, lite, contesa" In italiano Eride; per i Romani Discordia; I mitografi convengono nel descrivere Eris come Dea spietata, animatrice di conflitti e guerre tra uomini, delle quali gode. Fnord ->:<- CITAZIONI: "Signora del Dolore" [...] "una piccola cosa, all'inizio" [che cresce fino a] "avanzare a grandi falcate sulla terra, con la testa che giunge a colpire i cieli". - Omero - Iliade, IV.440-445, XI.70-75. "Mentre Eris cresce a dismisura, la terra trema sotto i suoi piedi, la sua lancia ferisce il cielo, dalla sua bocca si sprigionano fiamme spaventose, mentre la sua voce tonante accende gli animi degli uomini". - Quinto Smirneo, Posthomerica, X.59-71. "Eracle sta attraversando uno stretto passaggio, quando nota una mela che giace sul suolo. La colpisce ripetutamente con la sua clava, ma ad ogni percossa la mela raddoppia le sue dimensioni, fino ad ostruire completamente il cammino dell'eroe. Atena, avvedendosi della cosa, spiega allora a Eracle come quella mela sia in realtà Aporia ed Eris: se lasciata a sé stessa, rimane piccola, ma a combatterla si ottiene solo di ingigantirla." - Esopo, Favole, 534. "Quando si presenta nella forma della competizione, Eris è di stimolo agli uomini, spingendoli a superare i propri limiti e permettendo loro di conseguire risultati che la loro innata pigrizia renderebbe altrimenti irraggiungibili". - Esiodo, Le opere e i giorni, vv. 10-25. Inoltre in "Canti Ciprii", "Teogonia", "Fasti" [, ...] Fnord ->:<- GENEALOGIA: In Omero - Quinto Smirneo: è figlia di Era e Zeus; Per Ovidio: è concepita da Era toccando un fiore; Esiodo: è concepita da Notte, che la generò senza bisogno di accoppiarsi; Igino: è figlia di Notte e Erebo. Fratelli e sorelle di Eris: Apate, l'inganno Continenza Epafo Epifrone, la prudenza Esperidi, ninfe guardiane del giardino dei Pomi d'Oro Eufrosine, la benevolenza Geras, la vecchiaia Hypnos, il sonno, gemello di Thanatos Ker, la morte violenta Keres, i destini fatali Letum, la dissoluzione Lysimele, l'affetto Misericordia Momo, la colpa, il biasimo Moros, il destino avverso Nemesi, la vendetta o la giustizia divina Oizys, la miseria Oneiroi, tribù dei sogni Porfirione Styx, l'odio Thanatos, la morte Petulanza Philotes, l'amicizia Figli e Figlie di Eris: Algea, i dolori Amfilogie, le dispute Androktasiai, le stragi Ate, l'errore, la rovina Disnomia, la disobbedienza alle leggi, il malgoverno Fonoi, gli omicidi Horkos, il giuramento. Isminai, i combattimenti Lethe, l'oblio, la dimenticanza Limós, la fame Makhai, spiriti delle battaglie Neikea, i litigi Ponos, il travaglio, la fatica Pseudo-logoi, le bugie Fonord ->:<- conosciuto anche come lo Fnord ->: _______________________________________________ Un giorno Mal-2 consultò la sua Ghiandola Pineale* chiedendo se realmente Lei avesse creato tutte quelle cose orribili. Rispose che gli furono sempre piaciuti gli Antichi Greci, ma che Lei non poteva essere concepita tramite fatti storici. "Loro erano", aggiunse, "vittime di indigestione, lo sai." Basti a dire che Eris non è collerica o maligna. Ma Lei è maliziosa, e diventa stronzetta alle volte. *La GHIANDOLA PINEALE è dove tutti e ogni uno di noi può parlare con Eris. Se hai problemi ad attivare la tua Pineale puoi provare l'Appendice, che fa quasi altrettanto. Referenze: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland" _______________________________________________ DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS - Horace _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LA STORIA INTERNA! La Legge dei Cinque La Legge dei Cinque è uno dei più antichi Misteri Erisiani. Venne Rivelata al Buon Lord Omar ed è uno dei maggiori contributi provenienti dal Tempio Nascosto Del Cristo Felice. POEE sottoscrive la Legge dei Cinque della sezione di Omar. POEE riconosce inoltre il 23 santo (2+3=5) incorporato dall'Episcopo Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, nella sua sezione Discordiana Antica Loggia degli Illuminati Bavaresi. La Legge dei Cinque constata semplicemente che: TUTTE LE COSE AVVENGONO IN CINQUE, O SONO DIVISIBILI O MULTIPLI DI CINQUE, O SONO IN QUALCHE MODO DIRETTAMENTE O INDIRETTAMENTE COLLEGATE AL 5. La Legge dei Cinque non sbaglia mai. Negli Archivi Erisiani esiste un vecchio memo da Omar a Mal-2: "Trovo la Legge dei Cinque molto più manifesta guardando più intensamente." _______________________________________________ Non usare questo documento come carta igenica, Grazie. _______________________________________________ Il Naga del Burma Superiore dice che il sole splende di giorno perchè, essedo donna, ha paura ad avventurarsi fuori di notte. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Scoprirai che lo Stato è il tipo di ORGANIZZAZIONE che, sebbene faccia male le grandi cose, fa anche male le piccole cose. - John Kenneth Galbraith _______________________________________________ IL MITO DELLA MELA DELLA DISCORDIA Sembra che Zeus stesse preparando il banchetto di nozze per Peleo e Teti e non volle invitare Eris per via della sua reputazione di piantagrane.* Questo fece infuriare Eris, la quale modellò una mela d'oro ** incidendovi sopra KALLISTI ("per la più bella"), e la fece rotolare nella sala del banchetto il giorno della festa, per poi appartarsi a consumare gioiosamente un hot-dog. A questo punto, tre delle Dee *** invitate, Atena, Era e Afrodite, ne reclamarono ogniuna la proprietà, per via dell'iscrizione. E iniziano a combattere e tirare pugni a destra e a manca. Alla fine Zeus calmò le cose dichiarando che doveva essere selezionato un arbitro, il che parve un suggerimento ragionevole, e tutti furono d'accordo. Le mandò da un pastore di Troia, il cui nome era Paride perché sua madre aveva fatto un sacco di galera e aveva sposato un francese; ma ognuna delle subdole divinità cerca di battere le altre presentandosi prima con una bustarella. Atena gli offrì Eroiche Vittorie di Guerra, Era gli offrì Grandi Ricchezze, e Afrodite gli offrì la Più Bella Donna sulla Terra. Essendo un giovane troiano in buona salute, Paride prontamente accettò la bustarella di Afrodite, lei prese la mela e lui si fregò. Come promesso Afrodite manovra gli eventi terrestri in modo che Paride potesse avere Elena (l'Elena) che viveva con suo marito Menelao, re di Sparta. Tutti conoscono della guerra di Troia scaturita quando Sparta rivendica la propria regina, e che si dice che la guerra di Troia sia La Prima Guerra tra gli Uomini. E così soffriamo a causa dell'Affronto Originale. E per questo un Discordiano non mangerà panini per hot dog. Ci puoi credere? * Questa è chiamata LA DOTTRINA DELL'AFFRONTO ORIGINALE. ** C'è disaccordo storico sul fatto che questa mela fosse di oro massiccio o placata. *** In realtà c'erano cinque Dee, ma i Greci non conoscevano la Legge dei Cinque. _______________________________________________ +----------+ | Ricorda: | | KING | | KONG | | Morì per | | i tuoi | | Peccati | +----------+ Ho Chi Zen è King Cong _______________________________________________ 5. Un' Era di Confusione, o Età Antica, è quella in cui la Storia Come la Conosciamo inizia a svolgersi, in cui Qualunque Cosa Arrivi emerge nella Forma Corporea, più o meno, e tali tempi sono Epoche di Equilibrato Squilibrio o Squilibrato Equilibrio. 6. Un' Era della Burocrazia è un'Età Imperiale in cui le Cose Maturano, in cui la Confusione si confonde e durante la quale si ottiene l'Equilibrio Equilibrato, o Stagnazione. 7. L'età del Disordine o delle Conseguenze è un Periodo Apocalittico di Ritorno al Caos attraverso lo Schermo dell'Oblio in cui l'Età passa, alla fine. Queste sono epoche di Squilibrio Squilibrato. HBT; Il Libro di Uterus, Cap. 3 _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ricordi? 1. I Bambini onesti ricordano sempre che la chiesa è la _____ di _____ _______________________________________________ UN INNO ERISIANO del Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, Episcopo KOB, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS Avanti Soldati Cristiani, Avanti Preti Buddisti. Avanti, Figli dell'Islam, Lottate finchè non morirete. Lottate le vostre piccole battaglie. Uniti nella folta lotta; Per Suprema Gloria di Dis-cord-i-a. Yah, yah, yah, Yah, yah, yah, yah. Blfffffffffffft! _______________________________________________ Mr. Momomoto, Famoso Giapponese può risucchiare il suo naso, come esposto. È stato recentemente rivelato che è stato il fratello del signor Momomoto a fare tutto questo risucchio di naso. _______________________________________________ Heute Die Welt Morgens das Sonnensystem! Abbazia della Reliquia Barbarica _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MATRICE DISORGANIZZATIVA POEE Proclama Ufficiale V) La Casa degli Apostoli di ERIS Per l'Eristocrazia e la Cabalablia A. I Cinque Apostoli di ERIS B. La Corporazione Della Mela D'Oro (KSC) C. Episcopi della Società Discordiana D. Preti della Cabala POEE E. Santi, Avatar Erisiani, e Personaggi Simili IV) La Casa del Podge Crescente per i discepoli di Discordia A. Ufficio Alta Reverenza, Il Polipadre B. Concilio dei Preti POEE C. LEGIONE DELLA DISCORDIA DINAMICA D. Avatar Eristici E. Avatar Anaeristici III) La Casa dell'Hodge Crescente per la Burocrazia A. Ufficio degli Archivi Erisiani B. Ufficio Epistolare POEE, e divisione Dogma C. Ufficio dei Simboli, Emblemi, Certificati e così via D. Ufficio Affari Eristici e l'Amministro dell'Orda Eristica Anailluminata E. Ufficio Affari Anaeristici e l'Amministro per le Orde della Discordia II) La Casa del Collasso Crescente per l'Incoraggiamento della Liberazione dalla Libertà, e/o lo Scoraggiamento dell'Immanentizzazione dell'Eschaton A. Brezza di Saggezza e/o Vento di Follia B. Brezza di Integrità e/o Vento di Arroganza C. Brezza di Bellezza e/o Vento di Oltraggio D. Brezza d'Amore e/o Vento di Pomposità E. Brezza di Risata e/o Vento di Stronzata I) La Depandance per quello che è rimasto A. Avatar Misti B. Le cinque Colonne C. POEE =POPES= ovunque D. Cassetto "F" per Fuori Archivio E. Documenti Persi e Dimenticate Verità _______________________________________________ POEE - UFFICIALE Tempio Generale, San Francisco CASA DELL' HODGE CRESCENTE Ufficio Epistolare POEE _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ = LA MANO PENTADITATA DI ERIS = Il simbolo ufficiale POEE è qui illustrato. Potrebbe essere questo, o un simile apparato per rappresentare DUE FRECCE OPPOSTE CONVERGENTI IN UN PUNTO COMUNE. Potrebbe essere verticale, orizzontale, o altre cose, elaborato o semplificato come si desidera. Il nome esoterico per questo simbolo è LA MANO PENTADITATA DI ERIS, comunemente abbreviato in LA MANO <- \ / -----><----- / \ *** Fnord ->: \ / -----><----- / \ _______________________________________________ NOTA: Nella tradizione della magia occidentale, il simbolo \/ viene inteso come simbolo di corna, specialmente quelle di Satana o Bestie Diaboliche. LA MANO PENTADITATA DI ERIS ad ogni modo non è intesa per essere satanista; le "corna" sono supportate da un altro set, o "corna inverse". O forse sono zanne di tricheco. Non so cosa siano, a dire la verità. _______________________________________________ "Il surrealismo mira alla trasformazione totale della mente e tutto ciò che ricorda" - Breton _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -> POEE <- *** Fnord -><- POEE (pronunciato POEE) è l'acronimo per l'inglese PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. Il significato della prima parte può essere preso come "divinità equivalente, inversione oltre la mistica." Non siamo veramete esoterici, è solo che nessuno ci presta molta attenzione. MIA ALTA REVERENZA, MALICLYPSE IL GIOVANE, AB, DD, KSC, è Sommo Sacerdote POEE, e POEE è fondamento nelle sue episcopiche rivelazioni della Dea. Viene chiamato [Omnibenevolente Polipadre della Verginità Dorata]. Il Tempio Generale POEE è la cabala Joshua Norton della Società Discordiana, collocato nella ghiandola pineale di Mal-2 e che può essere temporalmente e spazialmente collocato nel resto di Mal-2. POEE non ha tesoreria, nessuno statuto, nessun articolo, nessuna guida salva ghiandola pineale di Mal-2, e ha un solo scrupolo -- che Mal-2 tiene nel suo portachiavi. POEE non è registrato, incorporato o affiliato in alcun modo con lo Stato, pertanto lo Stato non riconosce POEE o gli Ordini POEE, il che è equo, poichè POEE non riconosce lo Stato. _______________________________________________ POEE ha 5 GRADI: Ci sono i Neofiti, o DISCEPOLI LEGIONARI. Il DIACONO LEGIONARIO, colui che diviene Saggio. Un Ordinamento PRETE/SUORA POEE o CAPPELLANO. Il SOMMO SACERDOTE, o Polipadre. E POEE =POPE=. I DISCEPOLI LEGIONARI sono autorizzati ad iniziare altri come Legionari della Società Discordiana. I PRETI nominano i loro DIACONI. IL POLIPADRE ordina i Preti. Non sappiamo dei =POPE=. _______________________________________________ "Questo libro è uno specchio. Quando una scimmia guarda dentro, nessun apostolo guarda fuori." - Lichtenberg _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RICHIESTA di ACCETTAZIONE Nel MOVIMENTO ERISIANO Della SOCIETA' DISCORDIANA
______________________________________________
|					     |
| 1.DATA  				     |
|	di Oggi:	di Ieri:	     |
|                                            |
| 2.RICHIESTA ACCETTAZIONE in:               |
|	a. Legione della Discordia Dinamica  | 
|   	b. POEE  			     |
|   	c. Illuminati Bavaresi 		     |
|   	d. Tutti i precedenti		     |
|   	e. Nessuno dei precedenti	     |
|   	f. Altro: ________________________   |
|					     |
| 3 NOME_________________________________    |
|   					     |
| Nome Santo______________________________   |
| 					     |
| Indirizzo_______________________________   |
|       (per inoltro comunicazioni)	     |
| 					     |
| 4. DESCRIZIONE:                            |
|	Nato:	[ ]SI 	[ ]NO                |
|	Occhi:  [ ]2 	[ ]ALTRO             |
|	Altezza: __________ cl.              |
|	Ultimo Taglio Capelli:               |
|	 Ragione:			     |
| 	Razza: [ ]Cavallo [ ]Umano           |
| 	QI: 150-200 200-250 250-300 +300     |
|                                            |
| 5. CURRICULUM:                             |
|	Educazione:                          |
|	- Attestati Conseguiti		     |
|	Professionale:                       |
|	- In altro archivio allegare         |
|	  lavori effettuati da 1937          |
|	  finchè non sei stato licenziato.   |  
|	Medico:                              |
|	- in foglio separato etichettato     |
|	  "confidenziale" elenca tutti i     |
|	  maggiori episodi psicotici         |
|	  avuti nelle ultime 24 ore.         |
|                                            |
| 6. DOMANDE SUBDOLE                         |
|	Per stabilire i tratti personali     |	
|					     |
|	Preferirei:			     |
|	a. Vivere in una depandance	     |
|	b. Suonare in un complesso Rock      |
|	c. Mangiare Millepiedi		     |
|					     |			
| 	Indosso orribili tatuaggi perchè:    |
|  	__________________________________   |
|  					     |
| 	Ho smesso di rapire bambini: 	     |
|  	[ ]SI [ ]NO         ragione:	     |
|  	__________________________________   |
|					     |
| 7. AUTORITRATTO:			     |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|Rev. Mungo				     |
| - USO INTERNO -- acc. resp. bruciato       |
|____________________________________________|
|                                            |
|        +---------------------+	     |
|        |     LECCA QUI!!!    |	     |
|        |                     |	     |
|        |          *          |	     |
|        |                     |	     |
|        |(Potresti essere uno |	     |
|        |  dei 25 fortunati!) |	     |
|        +---------------------+	     |
|____________________________________________|
->:<- Fnord ->:<- <-------------------------------------------------------------- POEE & It's Priests If you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may wish to from your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly what you think it is. The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once in a while, he even listens. Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the section "Discordian Society" ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained? An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who holds an Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather." Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise! Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know What's in a Chao and why it ain't so! (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1) -------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ World Council of Churches Boutique Note to POEE Priests: The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market place. The Hidden stone ripens fast, then laid bare like a turnip can easily be cut out at last but even then the danger isn't past. That man lives best who's fain to live half mad, half sane. -Flemish Poet Jan Van Stijevoort, 1524. The Erisian Affirmation BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds: ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! find the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods Within your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow; POEE Holy Cow, and Wholly Chao -Rev. Dr. Grindlebone Monroe Cabal --------------------------------------------------------------> "Il senso comune è quello che ti dice che la terra è piatta." _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Questo è St. Gulik. Lui è il messaggero degli Dei. In un'epoca differente dalla nostra veniva chiamato Hermes. Molte persone lo chiamano in modi differenti. Lui è uno scarafaggio. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
______________________________________________
|                                            |
| LA LEGIONE DELLA DISCORDIA DINAMICA        |
|	RICONOSCE                            |
|                                            |
|  che questa --SOCIETA' DISCORDIANA--       |
|  certifica                                 |
|                                            |
|                                            |
|  --------------------------------          |
|	Come Legionario                      |
|                                            |
|   Gloria a noi, Figli di ERIS              |
|                                            |
| Presentato sotto gli auspici               |
| della Nostra Signora della Discordia, ERIS |
| dalla casa degli Apostoli di Eris          |
|____________________________________________|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COME INIZIARE UNA CABALA POEE SENZA SBATTERSI CON IL POLIPADRE Se non riesci a trovare il Tuo Polipadre, o trovandolo non vuoi avere niente a che fare con Lui, rimani autorizzato a creare la tua CABALA POEE e fare Cose da Preti usando i Principia Discordia come Guida. Il Tuo Grado Ufficiale per la LEGIONE DINAMICA della DISCORDIA sarà CAPPELLANO POEE, che è esattamente come un PRETE POEE eccetto che per il non essere Certificato. Le parole che hai appena letto sono il tuo Certificato. _______________________________________________ COME DIVENTARE CAPPELLANO POEE Scrivi l' AFFERMAZIONE ERISIANA in cinque copie. Firma e stampa con il naso ogni copia. Inviane una al Presidente degli Stati Uniti. Inviane una a: The California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding 1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814 Infilane una in un capo del telefono. Una nascondila. E brucia l'altra. Quindi consulta la tua Ghiandola Pineale. con Licenza Generale Comando del Sgt. Pepper _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <-------------------------------------------------------------- Trip 5! = The POEE Baptismal Rite = This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony. 1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something. 2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians. 3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye: ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING? The Initiate answers YES. THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers YES. HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED? He answers YES. VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT? The Initiate answers PROBABLY. THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME: (The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.) The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES! 4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present. 5) The Ceremony generally degenerates. Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway. DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP 3. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst the rules, y'know. HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2 Answers: 1. Harry Houdini 2. Swing Music 3. Pretzels 4. 8 months 5. Testy Culbert 6. It protrudes. 7. No vocal cords -------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ------------------------------------------------------> MERDA!!!!! *** dall'inglese SHIT!!!!! (I Fratelli dell' Antica Loggia degli Illuminati Bavaresi potrebbero volerlo sostituire con il tedesco: FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE! o altrimenti WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!! che è Ewige Blumenkraft in Polacco.) LA RECENTE RIVELAZIONE CHE MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOSO GIAPPONESE CHE PUÒ RISUCCHIARE IL SUO NASO, NON PUÒ RISUCCHIARE IL SUO NASO MA SUO FRATELLO PUÒ, COME ESPOSTO! È MR. MOMOMOTO CHE PUÒ RISUCCHIARE IL SUO NASO. HA RISUCCHIATO SUO FRATELLO NELL'ESTATE DEL 44. _______________________________________________ Correzioni alla copia della scorsa settimana: Johnny Sample è punta dei New York Jets, non terzino come dichiarato. Il nome di Bobby Tolan non è Randy, ma Mud. Tutto il potere al popolo, e bando alle fottute bombe. _______________________________________________ "Questa affermazione è falsa" - offerta da POEE _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SOCIETA' DISCORDIANA La società discordiana non ha definizione. _______________________________________________ A volte la penso come una disorganizzazione di mostri di Eris. È stata chiamata teatro di guerriglia mentale. Episcopo Randomfactor preferisce "La più grande associazione mondiale di qualunque-cosa-sia-quello-che-siamo". La signora Mal pensa sia un THINK TANK RINASCIMENTALE. Fang Unwashed, WKC, no sa dire. Tu puoi pensarla in qualunque modo ti piaccia. _______________________________________________ EPISCOPO della SOCIETA' DISCORDIANA: Colui che prefeisce totale autonomia, e crea la sua propria sezione Discordiana come la Dea gli Comanda. Lui parla per sè e per quelli che dicono di gradire ciò che dice. LEGIONE della DISCORDIA DINAMICA: Un Legionario della Società Discordiana è colui che preferisce non creare la sua propria Sezione. _______________________________________________ Se desideri entrare nella Società Discordiana allora dichiara a te stesso quello che desideri fare e come vuoi farlo, e faccelo sapere o no se preferisci. _______________________________________________ Non ci sono regole da nessuna parte. La Dea prevale alcuni Episcopi. Esiste una Cabala da una sola persona. Alcuni lavorano insieme. Alcuni non chiariscono mai. _______________________________________________ "Quando arrivo in fondo torno in cima allo scivolo dove mi fermo e mi giro e vado a fare un giro, poi arrivo in fondo e ti vedo di nuovo! Helter Skelter!" - John Lennon _______________________________________________ "Tutti quelli che conosco che hanno ragione sono sempre d'accordo con ME." - Rev. Lady Mal _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LA CORPORAZIONE DELLA MELA DORATA La Corporazione Della Mela Dorata* è una posizione onoraria per i detentori del Sacro Chao, i quali possono usare "KSC" dopo il loro nome. Questo dice poco, spiega meno, non significa niente. * Da non confondere con LA CORPORAZIONE APPLE Ltd. di quei quattro cantanti. Noi ci siamo arrivati prima. _______________________________________________ IL SEGNO NUMERALE V Usato da Antichi Romani Discordiani, Chiesa degli Illuminati, e da innocenti Hippies ovunque. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COVERSIONE DATE PERPETUO DAL CALENDARIO GREGORIANO AL POEE Stagioni Caos *** Chaos - Apostolo Patrono Hung Mung Discordia *** Discord - Apostolo Patrono Dr. Van Van Mojo Confusione *** Confusion - Apostolo Patrono Sri Syadasti Burocrazia *** Bureaucracy - Apostolo Patrono Zarathud Conseguenze *** The Aftermath - Apostolo Patrono Malaclypse Il Giovane _______________________________________________ Giorni della settimana * Dolcemattina *** Sweetmorn Boomtempo *** Boomtime Pungiorno *** Pungenday Prickle-Prickle Orangì *** Setting Orange _______________________________________________ Vacanze *** A) VACANZE APOSTOLICHE 1) Mungiorno 2) Mojogiorno 3) Syagiorno 4) Zaragiorno 5) Malagiorno Ogni 5° Giorno della Stagione B) VACANZE STAGIONALI 1) Chaofluenza 2) Discofluenza 3) Confufluenza 4) Burefluenza 5) Affluenza Ogni 50° Giorno della Stagione C) GIORNO di ST. TIB Ogni 4 anni (1+4=5) ed è inserito tra il 59° e il 60° Giorno della Stagione Del Caos ______________________________________________ *** Il linguaggio e la pronuncia riportati sono quelli Italici. Qui generalmente le vacanze si aggiungono alle vacanze locali. Notare come in alcuni dialetti del Nord-Est, come generalmente nelle Due-Calabrie e Isole -maggiori, minori e uguali- possano differire. * Il giorni della settimana sono chiamati dai Cinque Elementi base: Dolce, Boom, Pungente, Prickle, e Arancio. _______________________________________________
               SM BT PD PP SO                          SM BT PD PP SO
                    -- -- -- -- --                         -- -- -- -- --
Jan  1  2  3  4  5   1  2  3  4  5 Chs Jul  5  6  7  8  9  40 41 42 43 44 Cfn
     6  7  8  9 10   6  7  8  9 10         10 11 12 13 14  45 46 47 48 49
    11 12 13 14 15  11 12 13 14 15         15 16 17 18 19  50 51 52 53 54
    16 17 18 19 20  16 17 18 19 20         20 21 22 23 24  55 56 57 58 59
    21 22 23 24 25  21 22 23 24 25         25 26 27 28 29  60 61 62 63 64
    26 27 28 29 30  26 27 28 29 30         30 31  1  2  3  65 66 67 68 69
    31  1  2  3  4  31 32 33 34 35     Aug  4  5  6  7  8  70 71 72 73  1 Bcy
Feb  5  6  7  8  9  36 37 38 39 40          9 10 11 12 13   2  3  4  5  6
    10 11 12 13 14  41 42 43 44 45         14 15 16 17 18   7  8  9 10 11
    15 16 17 18 19  46 47 48 49 50         19 20 21 22 23  12 13 14 15 16
    20 21 22 23 24  51 52 53 54 55         24 25 26 27 28  17 18 19 20 21
    25 26 27 28* 1  56 57 58 59 60         29 30 31  1  2  22 23 24 25 26
Mar  2  3  4  5  6  61 62 63 64 65     Sep  3  4  5  6  7  27 28 29 30 31
     7  8  9 10 11  66 67 68 69 70          8  9 10 11 12  32 33 34 35 36
    12 13 14 15 16  71 72 73  1  2 Dsc     13 14 15 16 17  37 38 39 40 41
    17 18 19 20 21   3  4  5  6  7         18 19 20 21 22  42 43 44 45 46
    22 23 24 25 26   8  9 10 11 12         23 24 25 26 27  47 48 49 50 51
    27 28 29 30 31  13 14 15 16 17         28 29 30  1  2  52 53 54 55 56
Apr  1  2  3  4  5  18 19 20 21 22     Oct  3  4  5  6  7  57 58 59 60 61
     6  7  8  9 10  23 24 25 26 27          8  9 10 11 12  62 63 64 65 66
    11 12 13 14 15  28 29 30 31 32         13 14 15 16 17  67 68 69 70 71
    16 17 18 19 20  33 34 35 36 37         18 19 20 21 22  72 73  1  2  3 Afm
    21 22 23 24 25  38 39 40 41 42         23 24 25 26 27   4  5  6  7  8
    26 27 28 29 30  43 44 45 46 47         28 29 30 31  1   9 10 11 12 13
May  1  2  3  4  5  48 49 50 51 52     Nov  2  3  4  5  6  14 15 16 17 18
     6  7  8  9 10  53 54 55 56 57          7  8  9 10 11  19 20 21 22 23
    11 12 13 14 15  58 59 60 61 62         12 13 14 15 16  24 25 26 27 28
    16 17 18 19 20  63 64 65 66 67         17 18 19 20 21  29 30 31 32 33
    21 22 23 24 25  68 69 70 71 72         22 23 24 25 26  34 35 36 37 38
    26 27 28 29 30  73  1  2  3  4 Cfn     27 28 29 30  1  39 40 41 42 43
    31  1  2  3  4   5  6  7  8  9     Dec  2  3  4  5  6  44 45 46 47 48
Jun  5  6  7  8  9  10 11 12 13 14          7  8  9 10 11  49 50 51 52 53
    10 11 12 13 14  15 16 17 18 19         12 13 14 15 16  54 55 56 57 58
    15 16 17 18 19  20 21 22 23 24         17 18 19 20 21  59 60 61 62 63
    20 21 22 23 24  25 26 27 28 29         22 23 24 25 26  64 65 66 67 68
    25 26 27 28 29  30 31 32 33 34         27 28 29 30 31  69 70 71 72 73
    30  1  2  3  4  35 36 37 38 39  
[1991 = 3157] [Next St. Tibs Day in 3158] _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NOMI SANTI I Discordiani hanno la tradizione di assumere NOMI SANTI. - Questo non è escusivo degli Erisiani, ovviamente. Suppongo che Papa Paolo sia figlio di Signora e Signor VI? E anche TITOLI DI IMPORTAZIONE MISTICA _______________________________________________ Chiunque abbia rubato la pornografia del Reverendo Magoun è pregato di restituirla. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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| IL POSSESSORE DI QUESTA TESSERA            |
|  È UN AUTORIZZATO E ORIGINALE              |
|	    ~ POPE ~                         |
| Dunque da trattare con riguardo            |
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|	 VALIDO SEMPRE                       |
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| Originale e Autorizzato dalla              |
| Casa Degli Apostoli di ERIS                |
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Ogni Uomo, Donna e Bambino di questo pianeta è un Originale e Autorizzato =POPE= Riproduci e distribuisci questa tessera liberamente - Tempio Generale POEE, San Francisco _______________________________________________ Un =POPE= è chiunque non sia sotto l'autorità delle autorità. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <---------------------------------------------- For Your Enlightenment THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice. And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter. "The Five Laws have root in awareness." --Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85) The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't. HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1 ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES? "O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!" WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL. "I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe." WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? "But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it." OH. WELL, THEN STOP. At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species. SINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS =THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE = 1. HUNG MUNG A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinese. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5. 2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19. NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second Apostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits. 3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA Commonly called just SRI SYADASTI. His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type Discordians. Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with Blessed St. Gulik the Stoned, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle. 4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed "Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12 5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or middle earth), who followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read "DOOM". (This is a misunderstanding. The sign actually read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.) Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron of The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24. All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette. The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Man...Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he's drunk. THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of the Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch From the Honest Book of Truth, THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1 There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an Honest Book. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and, lying in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of Mullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and five nights, but found no book. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had uncovered on the first day of his labors. Omar slept. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a Golden Chest. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel : What is this shit, man? What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better wages? And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box containing many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon others nothing was written. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CONVENTIONAL CHAOS GREYFACE In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it. It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own. The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now. It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that's beautiful. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Climb into the Chao with a friend or two And follow the Way it carries you, Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew Over the Waves in whatever you do. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3) [graphic deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK] ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat... DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"* THE BOOK OF UTERUS from the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion - that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of Thud. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence called Discordia. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS! Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen. ____________________________ * This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III - HISTORY #6, "HISTORIC CYCLES," which states that social progress occurs in five cycles, the first three ("The Tricycle") of which are THESIS, ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and the last two ("The Bicycle") of which are CONSTERNATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE. ** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen. NOTE: It is from this text from The Book of Uterus, that POEE has based its Erisian Calendar with the year divided into 5 seasons of 73 days each. Each of the Five Apostles of Eris has patronage over one Season. A chart of the Seasons, Patrons, Days of the Week, Holydays, and a perpetual Gregorian converter is included in this edition of Principia. Dull but Sincere Filler //news:willamette.news ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation of Disorder!" [H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6] THE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA ("THEM") Gen. Pandaemonium, Commanding The seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early disciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over emphasizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to the necessary compliment, the Principle of Disorder. The Orders are composed of persons all hung up on authority, security and control; i.e., they are blinded by the Aneristic Illusion. They do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia. But we know. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This is for all the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved for lawmakers, censors, and like ilk. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit schools and universities, and dominate many of them. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. This is mostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, political, academic and sacred Orders. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about the D.L., but they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface himself. It is known that they now have absolute domination over all organized churches in the world. It is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages and passing them off as human beings. A person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a flag of the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment-- just as long as it is a flag. Don't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton. HIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4 Go To Your Left-Right.... ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and experimentally-- that the universe, by its nature, is "running down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation. That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order. The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought. It applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing. The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order. IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT! -Rev. Thomas, Gnostic N.Y.C. Cabal Personal PLANETARY Pi, which I discovered, is 61. //http://www.cs.monash.edu.au/~acb/pi.html 404 It's a Time-Energy relationship existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts unknown to science. For example, multiply nude earth's circumference 24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon's orbit around the earth. This is slightly less than the actual distance because we have not yet considered earth's atmosphere. So be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston -----------------------------------------------> "Avrei dovuto essere un idraulico." - Albert Einstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Cavalletta sbaglia sempre gli argomenti con Pollo" - Libro di Chan compilato dalla sezione O.P.U. <---------------------------------------------- = ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT = Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing. "Tell me, you dumb beast." demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?" Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".* Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese. * "MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING TAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SACRED CHAO http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/ray-chao.jpg 200! THE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge. HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS. If you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it. The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper that is the level of distinction making. With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-about- reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the level of concept. We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle. Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other. DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION. The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered. Reality is the original Rorschach. Verily! So much for all that. The words of the Foolish and those of the Wise Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1) The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, "KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle. The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords with THE LAW OF FIVES. THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. -Patamunzo Lingananda It is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies. ____________________________________ * The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras. 5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying "I do not know! I do not know!" HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1 ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRUNSWICK SHRINE In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time. In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It All. It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five times over, than shall the world come to an end: IMPENDING DOOM HAS ARRIVED And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days. As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually going. ___________________________________ * Or maybe it was 1958, I forget. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which Is Real? * * * * * Do these 5 pebbles REALLY form a pentagon? [note: they were pebbles, originally..try doing ASCII pebbles -DtC] Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star. An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5. The real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about "it" is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST. Convictions cause convicts. Can you chart the COURSE to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART? Hemlock? I never touch the stuff! When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired a split beaver magazine. You can imagine my disappointment when,upon examination of the photos with a microscope, I found that all I could see was dots. 7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS -------------------------------------------Pun-jab is Sikh, Sikh, Sikh!-------- THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) A Non-prophet Irreligious Disorganization MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold HIGH PRIEST THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS (X) Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1 pages Official Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a ( ) the Golden Apple Corps (X)House of Disciples of Discordia The Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS ( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE ( ) Drawer o ______________________________________________________________________________ Today's DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday's DATE: Yes -><- Originating Cabal: Joshua Norton Cabal - San Francisco TO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado Encrustation Brother Ram, Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some observations of my own. ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use. From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect, similar to SIRE. And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125 years. FIVE TONS OF FLAX! -><- Mal-2 Not for Circulation! KALLISTI HAIL ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA safeguard this letter, it may be an IMPORTANT DOCUMENT Form No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134 ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY" which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus) In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one (the smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON- BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the great number of things that do not exist with the comparatively small number of things that do exist.) Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period-- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non- existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.) At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them and ordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose from this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself by creating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which delighted Her. Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder (previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not. "Hah," She thought, "Here shall be a new game." And She taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself, "ERISTIC" because Being is anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for Her lonely sister, She named the other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them. Now all of this time, Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had created only physical existence and physical non- existence, and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all. When the sisters heard this, they both confronted Void and pleaded that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus: That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep. "Why are you despondent?" demanded Void, "Your new brother will have his share with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non- Being." "I see,"replied Void, "Then I decree the following: "When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself." And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus. "Everything is true - Everything is permissible!" -><- -Hassan i Sabbah ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane. A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT Written, in some sense, by Mal-2 Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is much enhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all participants chanting the English. It also behooves one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position. It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of his gourd. RUB-A-DUB-DUB O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung. SYA-DASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo. SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud. SYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal. SYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik. SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia. RUB-A-DUB-DUB It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles, which ever comes first. ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Classification of Saints SAINT SECOND CLASS To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE shrine.) THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION. LANCE SAINT Good Saint material and definitely inspiring. Example: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller) LIEUTENANT SAINT Excellent Goddess-Saturated Saint. Example: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes) BRIGADIER SAINT Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or factual). Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut) FIVE STAR SAINT The Five Apostles of Eris. Note: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about Saints. Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a handfull understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton. (Slogan of NORTON CABAL - S.F.) ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TESTS BY DOCTORS PROVE IT POSSIBLE TO SHRINK =ON OCCULTISM= Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness through assimilation and control of universal opposites-- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritualism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman, occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS. Magicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an essential metaphysical balance. When magicians learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man's endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY. This is an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western occult thought, and POEE is humbly pleased to offer the first breakthrough in occultism since Solomon. "Study Demonology with an Enemy This Sunday" sez Thom,Gnos ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM On your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your birth time and date of observation, count all visible stars. When you have done this, write to me and I'll tell you what to do next. The Eminent 16th Century Mathemetician Cardan so detested Luther that he altered Luther's birthdate to give him an unfavorable horoscope. The theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take seats at random around a circular table bearing place cards with their names, it is always possible to rotate the table until at least two people are opposite their cards. Assume the contrary. Let N be the even number of persons, and let their names be replaced by the integers 0 to N-1 "in such a way that the place cards are numbered in sequence around the table. If a delegate D originally sits down to a place card P, then the table must be rotated R steps before he is correctly seated, where R=P-D, unless this is negative, in which case R=P-D+N. The collection of values of D (and of P) for all delegates is clearly the integers 0 to N-1,each taken once, but so also is the collection of values of R, or else two delegates would be correctly seated at the same time. Summing the above equations, one for each delegate, gives S-S+NK, where K is an integer and S=N(N-1)/2, the sum of the integers from 0 to N-1. It follows that N=2K+1, an odd number." This contradicts the original assumption. "I actually solved this problem some years ago," Rybicki writes, "for a different but completely equivalent problem, a generalization of the nonattacking 'eight queens' problem for a cylindrical chessboard where diagonal attack is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only." ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder. The Curse of Greyface included the division of life into order/disorder as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of building a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to endure the destructive aspects of order and has prevented man from effectively participating in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfortunate division. ORDER DISORDER +-------------+---------------+ | \ / | | | /\ | \ / | CREATE | [] | {K} | | / \ | / \ | | | | +-------------+---------------+ | | | | /\ / | / | DESTROY | [/] | {K/} | | / | / | | | | +-------------+---------------+ [the real thing looks a lot better -S] // http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/chart.gif POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable. Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same! ------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to the evil Curse of Greyface, THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just protection. The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a timely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be achieved. CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive motivation is essential for self-protection. TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE: Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! The results will be instantly apparent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to: THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add: THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with: THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to: THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SINK A GAME by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk. PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing... in water or mud or anything you can sink something in. RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers - bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be used. TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air first. DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing "SINK" to help find more objects to sink, once one object is sunk. UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or something equally as thoughtful. NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk Columbus, Ohio!" "In a way, we're a kind of Peace Corps." - Maj. A. Lincoln German, Training Director of the Green Beret Special Warfare School, Ft. Bragg, N.C. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Joint Effort of the Discordian Society POST OFFICE LIBERATION FRONT Export License Not Required THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS! In the meantime - plant your seeds. If a lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted. Plant your seeds. In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read up on it first for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in water for a day and plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't worry much about the weather, they know when the weather is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and flourish. But some of them need people's help to get started. Plant your seeds. Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even different countries. If you would rather not, then please pass this copy on to someone and perhaps they would like to. THERE IS NO TRUTH to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course, from your seed's point of view. --------------------------------------------> _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D. "Com'è che al picchio non schizza via il cervello?" R. Nessuno ha mai spiegato questo. _______________________________________________ Maria Giovanna dice "Pianta i Tuoi Semi. Tieni Basso il Prezzo." _______________________________________________ E Dio disse: "Ecco io vi do ogni erba che fa seme sulla superficie di tutta la terra" ... e tu vorrai carne. - Genesis 1:29 _______________________________________________ [Roba Grafica eliminata - DtC] _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Domande Fai un discorso amichevole in classe. Consenti a ogni bambino di dire qualunque parte di "Cortesia nei Corridoi e sulle Scale" gli piaccia. Nomina alcune cause di disturbo nella tua scuola. _______________________________________________ Capitolo 1, L'EPISTOLA DEI PARANOIDI - Lord Omar 1. Vi siete rinchiusi in gabbie di paura - ed ecco, adesso vi lamentate che vi manca la LIBERTÀ! 2. Hai mandato al divolo i tuoi fratelli e ora lagni, lamentandoti, che sei stato lasciato a combattere da solo. 3. Una volta il tuo regno era tutto Caos; in verità, hai tenuto dominio sull'intero Pentaverso, ma oggi temi angoli bui, anfratti e buchi del lavandino. 4. O come le tenebre si affollano, l'una contro l'altra, nei vostri cuori! Che paura hai di più di quello che hai fatto? 5. In verità, in verità ti dico, neppure tutti i Sinistri Ministri degli Illuminati Bavaresi, lavorando insieme in moltitudini, potrebbero intridere la terra di problemi quanto i tuoi avvertimenti infondati. _______________________________________________ NONOSTANTE forti prove del contrario, voci persistenti affermano che fosse Il fratello del signor Momomoto che ha risucchiato il signor Momomoto nell'estate del '44. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Propaganda _______________________________________________ ILLUMINATI BAVARESI Fondati da Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 d.C. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Riformati da Adam Weishaupt, 1776 d.C. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.) GLI ANTICHI PROFETI ILLUMINATI BAVARESI Ti invita ad unirti alla Cospirazione Mondiale più Antica e di Maggior Successo Hai mai SEGRETAMENTE FANTASTICATO sul PERCHÈ la GRANDE PIRAMIDE ha CINQUE lati (contando il fondo)? ESISTE una ALLEGORIA ESOTERICA celata nell'apparentemente innocente leggenda di Bianca Neve e i Sette Nani? QUALE È il VERO segreto SINISTRO che giace dietro l'ANTICA Leggenda Azteca di QUETZLCOATL? PERCHÉ studiosi antropologi GIRANO le PALE terrorizzzati alla MENZIONE del nome PROIBITO YOG-SOTHOTH? CHI È l'UOMO a ZURIGO che alcuni GIURANO essere LEE HARVEY OSWALD? COSA È REALMENTE SUCCESSO AD AMBROSE BIERCE? Se il tuo Q.I è superiore a 150 e hai $3,125.00 (lordi), potresti avere diritto ad un abbonamento di prova A.I.S.B. Se pensi di essere qualificato, metti i soldi in una scatola di sigari e seppelliscila nel tuo giardino. Uno dei nostri Agenti Sotterranei ti contatterà a breve. TI SFIDO! NON DIRLO A NESSUNO! GLI INCIDENTI HANNO STRANI MODI DI ACCADERE ALLE PERSONE CHE PARLANO TROPPO DEGLI ILLUMINATI BAVARESI Voglio metterti in gurdia contro le imitazioni! Noi siamo gli originali e genuini. "Niente è vero. Tutto è Possibile" - Hassan i Sabbah NIL CARBORUNDUM ILLEGITIMO _______________________________________________ "Illumina l'Opposizione!" - Adam Weishaupt, Grand Primus Illuminatus Official Bavarian Illuminati _______________________________________________ "Ewige Blumenkraft!" _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ INVIATO CON COLLEGAMENTO INTERNO ANTICHI PROFETI ILLUMINATI BAVARESI LOGGIA di VIGILANZA Mad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal CODICE CRIPTOGRAFICO SUPERSEGRETO DELLA SOCIETA' DISCORDIANA. Di possibile interese di tutti i Discordiani, la presente rilascia questa informazione con la valutazione di A.I.S.B., con gli auspici dell'Episcopo Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS. A:1 B:2 C:3 D:4 E:5 F:6 G:7 H:8 I:9 J:10 K:11 L:12 M:13 N:14 O:15 P:16 Q:17 R:18 S:19 T:20 U:21 V:22 W:23 X:24 Y:25 Z:26 MSSAGGIO ESEMPIO: "HAIL ERIS" PASSO 1. Metti le vocali alla fine (HLRSAIEI) PASSO 2. Inverti l'ordine (IEIASRLH) PASSO 3. Converti in posizione numerica (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8) PASSO 4. Ordina progressivamnte (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19) PASSO 5. Converti nuovamente in lettere (AEHIILRS) Questo codice è garantito per essere sicuro al 100% _______________________________________________ ATTENTO! I PARANOICI SPIANO _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <------------------------------------------------------ Segue è una lettera da A.I.S.B. a POEE: _______________________________________________________ la Cospirazione Mondiale più Antica e di Maggior Successo ILLUMINATI BAVARESI Fondata da Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 d.C. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Riformata da Adam Weishaupt, 1776 d.C. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.) ( )Affari Ufficiali (X)Affari Clandestini Da: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister Caro Fratello Mal-2, In risposta alla tua richiesta di desecretare agitprop per inserirla nella nuova edizione dei PRINCIPIA, spero si possa utilizzare quanto segue. E perfavore smetti di ammorbarci con le tue lettere incessanti! Episcopo Mordecai, Reggente della Sojac Notarile, mi informa che informs me that youare welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have beenfully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of Aquilonia. First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into Latin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D., as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Ismaelian Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson in the garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States. Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication.No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised inJoyce's Finnegan's Wake, Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of the Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private papers (!), but we are still suppressingthose. Considering current developments--you know the ones I speak of--ithas been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Yourpublication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now havesignificant control of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger Die For You Society, and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not reveal that political and economic control was generally complete several generations ago and that we are just playing with the world for a while until civilization advances sufficiently for phase five. In fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal Reserve Hoax:"Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined, behind-the-scenes under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force--worshipers of Mamon--whose undying purpose is world control through the control of The Principia Discordiahttp://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/body.html Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent raised its head in the under-ground secret society known as the Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary evidence to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from this source." Etc., etc., you know the stuff. The general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been nearlyexposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what adrag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential locations. Please review and add any comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon site. Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know thatZambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co-ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and our theoriticians are in ecstasy over the new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After 20,000 years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. But the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, Mal! If civilization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp. Twenty thousand years....! Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Principia.Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS. Love, MAD MALIKPS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia.We are returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications.Herewith your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5. [note: Graphic Cypher deleted DtC] _______________________________________________________________________________ Part Five The Golden Secret NONSENSE AS SALVATION The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously. To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES. To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being. And when men become free then mankind will be free. May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris. T'AI ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ _________ _________ _________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -----------------------------------------------> COSÌ FINISCE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA *** La presente è una revisione della traduzione incompleta della revisione della V° edizione di THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA; *** Che era una revisione della IV edizione, Marzo 1970, San Francisco; Che era una revisione della III edizione di 500 copie, whompate a Tampa nel 1969; Che era una revisione della II edizione di 100 copie da Los Angeles 1969; Che era revisione di "PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST", pubblicata in cinque copie nel 1965 a New Orleans, perlopiù perse. Se pensi che i PRINCIPIA siano giusto un ah-ah, allora rileggili. _______________________________________________ (K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Ristampa ciò che vuoi. _______________________________________________ Pubblicata dal Tempio Generale POEE - San francisco. "Nel futuro sito dello stupendo Canyon di San Andrea" *** Versione Italiana a cura di CRXM ITALIA GOLDEN CORP. _______________________________________________ Ufficio Alta Reverenza Malaclypse Il Giovane KSC OPOVIG Sommo Sacerdote POEE KALLISTI LE ULTIME PAROLE Il presente documento fù rivelato a Mal-2 dalla Dea stessa tramite numerose consultazioni con lei all'interno della sua ghiandola pineale. È garantito che siano la Parola della Dea. Tuttavia, è giusto affermare che la Dea non dice sempre la stessa cosa a qualunque ascoltatore, e che altri Episcopi a volte hanno raccontato cose abbastanza diverse nelle loro Rivelazioni, le quali sono anche la Parola della Dea. Di conseguenza, se preferisci un'altra setta discordiana oltre POEE, nessuna di queste verità è vincolante ed è una vergogna marcia che tu abbia letto fino all'ultima parola. _______________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <----------------------------------------------- DISCORDIAN SOCIETY Dedicated to an Advanced Understanding of the Paraphysical Manifestations of Everyday Chaos DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND? Well, probably you do have one, and it's unfortunate because lopsided Pineal Glands have perverted the Free Spirit of Man, and subverted Life into a frustrating, unhappy and hopeless mess. Fortunately, you have before you a handbook that will show you how to discover your salvation through ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION. It will advise you how to balance your Pineal Gland and reach spiritual Illumination. And it will teach you how to turn your miserable mess into a beautiful, joyful, and splendid one. POEE is a bridge from PISCES to AQUARIUS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the Words of the Illuminated Rated X... NATURALLY Why are we Here ? SUPPRESSED KNOWLEDGE Have you ever secretly HYGIENE wondered why the Great The Lord promised: "Therefore, Pyramid has five sides? - behold, I will bring evil upon counting the bottom? the house of Jeroboam and will cut off from Jeroboam him that GRAND OPERA pisseth against the wall..." "Wherefore my bowels shall sound -I Kings 14:10 (This like a harp for Moab, and mine unsanitary practice caused inner parts for Kirharesh." serious erosion of the mud -Isaiah 16:11 walls) Face to fact with the mighty forces and elements of nature, the thoughtful man fearlessly contemplates his place in the great cosmic scheme. -><- POEE -><- YES, I'd like to know the Five Simple Actions that will turn Me into a "Mental Wizard" in a Single Weekend. Warning! Prolonged use in a darkened room may induce hallucinations or trigger undesired side effects. Should not be used in the presence of persons subject to epilepsy. THIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT GUIDE IN YOUR LIFE! -THE GODDESS ERIS PREVAILS- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ADDS ________________ http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/manichean.html Discordia and Manicheanism Praise Eris I've had some bad insomnia lately, so this is what I came up with last night while actively not sleeping: Mani's teachings do not seem to be incompatible with Discordian tenets(such as they are). Manicheans believed in 3 dieties:the Serpent God of Knowlege, The God of Order, and Sophia, the Goddess of Wisdom. The God of Order entrapped the naturally chaotic soul into a body, which is an imposition of order upon the state of nature of the soul. However, we are attached to our chaotic soul by way of the Pineal Gland. Anyway, the Sophia, who is of course an embodiment of Eris Esoteric, stayed out of this conflict and attempts to help us regain the chaotic self we possessed before forced into the orderly bodies. The serpent god attempted to help us transcend our bodies by showing us the paths of good and evil, but this god seems to be the god of Greyface. This is all just bizaare speculation from the mind of a very very tired man. Please disregard, or not, as you choose. Non Serviam. Padgett L. Arango, DDS, Grand Dark Pope of Claremont. Written Mon Feb 7 23:15:04 PST 1994 (E-Night, Chaos 38 3160) ________________ http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/saints.html Saints Here are details on some of the saints and such our members believe in. St. Rufus, St. Bill, St. Ted In the future of the Bill and Ted movies, total Eristic Enlightenment is widespread. Rufus, through his wholesale butchery of the spacetime continuum, made it possible for his future to happen, and through the chaos of their music Eris moved across the world. That's really incoherent. At any rate, I think those are really cool movies when seen from a Discordian viewpoint. St. Bicycle Wheel As you pass a bike rack, look carefully. Quite possibly, you will see a single bike wheel, attached to the rack by a strong lock of some sort. That wheel is St. Bike Wheel. As you pass, say "Hail Saint Bike Wheel!" and salute. Yakko-el, Wakko-el, Dot-el The Warner Brothers (and the Warner Sister!) are not saints per se. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot are elemental forces of zaniness and are the Discordian equivalents of angels. Last modified Discord 26, 3160 by MFB ________________ http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/titles.html Titles Here are the explanations of some of the titles our members[*5*] claim. Disciple of Saint Mojo (DSM): Disciples of Saint Mojo feel in tune with Blessed Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo. The vow of a Disciple of Saint Mojo is: never WALK across a live dance floor. Keeper of the Sacred Chao (KSC): From the Principia Discordia: The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names. It says little, does less, means nothing. * Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first. Reverend(Rev.) or Universal Life Church(ULC): (Actually, Minister of the ULC, but MULC doesn't look very good.) The motto of the Universal Life Church is "We believe in what is Right; and everyone has the right to choose what is Right for themselves." Therefore, they will ordain anyone, without question of faith. They are a state-registered religion. If you wish to be ordained by them, write to them at 601 Third Street, Modesto, CA 95351, or check out their web site. Last modified Bureaucracy 35, 3161 by MFB ________________ http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/members.html 5-College Discordians of Saint Rufus These may not be all the members of the 5-C D. S. o' St. R., but in the absence of a formal list, these are the folks most likely to show up at a meeting. Brother Pope Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC, DSM, ULC, SDP (dmm@muddcs.cs.hmc.edu) Pope Jobe, formerly POEE Chaplin Pope George Ringo, KSC, LDD, DSP (mmorse@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Pope Bolo of the Beautiful Metaphor, , W.R.K.W.H.T.I. (bmcaleer@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Padgett The Mellow Yeti, Dark Pope of Claremont (parango@pomona.claremont.edu) Pope Mirth the Cheshire Cat who Likes to Turn Things Over, KSC, LSD (sboone@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Pope Serendipity of the Retro Aura, KSC, DSM, and Ruler of Antarctica (althomas@muddcs.cs.hmc.edu) Pope Zonk of the No Second Name (jherzog@osiris.ac.hmc.edu) Last modified Sweetmorn, the 48th of Discord, 3161 Y.O.L.D by MFB ________________ http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/cards.html ftp://ftp.lysator.liu.se/pub/religion/discordian/Techno/Tarot/ booms.ps.gz | eleven_twenty.ps.gz | one_ten.ps.gz | oranges.ps.gz | prickles.ps.gz | pungents.ps.gz | sweets.ps.gz | twentyone_text.ps.gz DESCRPTION - ftp://ftp.lysator.liu.se/pub/religion/discordian/Techno/Tarot/description By popular demand, here's a detailed description of the soon to be publicly distributed Discordian Deck. All the meanings listed are our own interpretations only and not to be taken as canon or anything. A Description of the Discordian Deck as discovered by Max Flax Beeblewax and (boing!) Cnoocy Mosque O'Witz TRUMPS Card Format: name on bottom. arabic number on top middle. mayan number on left and right upper corners. 1: The Sacred Cow: a cow. Speech balloon says "mu". meaning: a sacred cow. 2: A Pope: a pope card. meaning: querent, or anybody really. 3: The Initiate: a hand holding a book, reading. Letter in book is "T". meaning: someone looking for knowledge or at the beginning of a journey. 4: The Illuminate: a hand writing a book. Letter in book is "E". meaning: someone who has gained knowledge or completed a journey. 5: The Believer: a sheep. meaning: someone who accepts ideas. 6: The Skeptic: a dragon. meaning: someone who rejects ideas. 7: Flower: a five-petaled flower, with pistil and stamen evident. meaning: sex, drugs, and hedonic pursuits. 8: The Trout: a fish with a hat on. meaning: silliness, laughter, surrealism. 9: Conspiracy: silhouettes at a table. meaning: There's a plot behind coincidences. 10: Joker: traditional playing-card joker. meaning: wild card. 11: Net of Synchronicity: lines connect circles near a mystical face. meaning: There's a cosmic force behind coincidences. 12: Discordian Deck: information about the deck. meaning: this deck, or self-referentialism. 13: The Big Bang: a stylized circular explosion. meaning: Eristic Creation. 14: The Great Pyramid: a pyramid in front of a horizon. meaning: Aneristic Creation. 15: Radioactivity: radioactivity symbol. meaning: Aneristic Destruction. 16: The Tower of Babel: decomposing rectangle containing Genesis 11:7. meaning: Eristic Destruction. 17: The Discordian Society: a golden-apple flag on a slanted forked stick. meaning: Eristic group or groups. 18: The Bavarian Illuminati: an eye/pyramid flag on a vertical pointed stick. meaning: Aneristic group or groups. 19: Greyface: a bearded man in robes kneeling with a compass. meaning: someone on the all-order trip. 20: Eris: a wild-haired girl dancing. meaning: someone on the all-disorder trip. 21: The Golden Apple: an apple with "kallisti" on it in greek letters. meaning: Eristic forces. 22: The Pentagon: a thick pentagon, pointing sideways. meaning: Aneristic forces. 23: The Sacred Chao: The Sacred Chao. meaning: The Sacred Chao. MINORS Card Format: for D, S, C, and A, name on bottom. In upper left and upper right corners, suit symbol then number/letter. Suits: The suits are named after the five basic Discordian elements. They correspond to the five senses, the five Aristotelian elements, and every other five you can find lying around. Try figuring out which of your toes is the "Prickle" toe some time when you're feeling inspired. Sweets: Taste, Water, Pleasure (a drop of water or tongue, with a smile) Booms: Hearing, Air, Action (an ear-shaped cloud) Pungents: Smell, Aether, Intensity (a dark circle with two smaller circles inside it next to each other, like infinity or a snout) Prickles: Touch, Earth, Conformity (5 lines coming up off a horizontal base) Oranges: Sight, Fire, Bizarreness (an upward-pointing eyelike crescent) Faces: Z (zip): blank card except for corners. A lack of whatever the suit means. 1: one of the symbol. A good amount of whatever. 2: two of the symbol, one above the other. Shared whatever. 3: three of the symbol, in a vertical line. Imbalance of whatever. 4: four of the symbol, in a square. Excess whatever. O: Onomatopoeia. A moment of whatever, or the sense of the suit. O of Sweet: MMMMM O of Boom: whoosh O of Pungent: O O of Prickle: thud O of Orange: wow D: Day. The days of the Discordian week, and the time of a spiritual day. Sweetmorn: A Sweet symbol poking over the horizon, with an arrow upwards. The happy beginning of something. Boomtime: A Boom symbol in front of a circle. The hectic morning, or the starting work of something. Pungenday: A shining Pungent symbol above a horizon. The noon meditation or the central point of a task or project. Prickle-Prickle: Two overlapping Prickle symbols. A physical afternoon, a siesta, a non-thinking time. Setting Orange: An Orange symbol half-visible over the horizon, with an arrow downwards. The end of the day and the cast party after a project. (Cnoocy on the range of the D cards: "They cover the day from sunrise to sunset. They don't cover the night since that is the domain of Eris's mother, Nox.") S: Season. The Seasons from the Discordian Calendar. These are basically just like they are in the seasons document on the 5CDSSR web site, http://www.cs.hmc.edu/people/denis/seasons.html. For those without browsers, here they are in a nutshell: Chaos: No illusions Discord: Eristic Illusion Confusion: Conflict between both Illusions Bureaucracy: Aneristic Illusion The Aftermath: Playing with Illusions C: Cow. A Cow. May symbolize someone in the midst of whatever, but not actually affected by it. A: Apostle of Eris. Hung Mung, Dr. Van Van Mojo, Saint Gulik, Zarathud, and Malaclypse the Elder. Pics scanned straight outta the Principia. May mean someone who embodies the whatever. Pope Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC, DSM, ULC (denis@jarthur.cs.hmc.edu - http://www.cs.hmc.edu/people/denis/mfb.html ) 5-College Discordian Society of Saint Rufus B. E. T. E. O. P. O. D. H. E. A. H. D. R. A. D. D. ----------------------------------- HOW TO - ftp://ftp.lysator.liu.se/pub/religion/discordian/Techno/Tarot/how_to How To Make These Postscript Files Into A Deck Of Cards Absolute first thing... print 'em. They look good at 300dpi and even better at 600dpi. Make sure you've got a printer with a good bit of memory: they're quite large, datawise. Next, you have some choices about the method you use, based on the desired durability of your deck. REALLY INCREDIBLY FLIMSY: copy the sheets on to tissue paper, then cut out the cards. Not recommended. FLIMSY: cut the cards out of the paper they were printed on. OK-ISH: have a copy center or store copy the sheets on to card stock, then cut the cards out. The ink may rub off, and they may bend easy, so careful. TOUGH: copy the sheets on to card stock, and cut out the cards. Then laminate them all. (you may be able to put a lot of them on one sheet... the place we went to had enough room on their largest sheet for 25 cards.) It is important to have laminate-on-laminate borders around each card. Cut them apart carefully. REALLY INCREDIBLY TOUGH: glue the sheets on to stone slabs. Get a Dremel tool and engrave the inked areas in to the rock. Cut the cards apart and remove the white paper with fire. Also not recommended, though if you do this, let me know because I'd love to see it. I would imagine they'll be pretty hard to shuffle though. Pope Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC, DSM, ULC (denis@jarthur.cs.hmc.edu) 5-College Discordian Society of Saint Rufus B. E. T. E. O. P. O. D. H. E. A. H. D. R. A. D. D. ------------------------------------------------------> *********************************************** <---------------------------------------------- *********************************************** NOTE e BIBLIOLINKOGRAFIA Se non visualizzi correttamente caratteri come è, à, ò: prova con la codifica UNICODE! Probabilmente stai guardando questo file dal tuo Browser che non la utilizza di default. Solitamente è possibile cambiare impostazioni nei Browser moderni; altrimenti utilizzare un Editor - o cambiare Browser - spesso migliora la percerzione. _______________________________________________ http:www.crxm.net?index=PRINCIPIA.txt http:www.crxm.net/index/index/PRINCIPIA.txt http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/ http://www.junkpile.demon.co.uk/prin1.htm https://wiki.s23.org/wiki/Principia_Discordia http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/whatelse.html ftp://ftp.lysator.liu.se/pub/religion/discordian/ http://www.channel1.com/users/hacksaw/SBM.html [http://www.channel1.com/] http://www.psyche.com/ https://crywalt.com/westnet/index.2.html [https://crywalt.com/] http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/mfb.html [REVEREND BROTHER KSC Max Flax Beeblewax] https://hyperdiscordia.church *********************************************** CONVENZIONI GRAFICHE di CONVERSIONE ________________ Fine Sezione; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fine Capitolo; ---------------- Delimitatore Sezione Temporanea; ******[*] || *** Delimitatore Sezione Aggiunta; :< || <- || < Ingresso nello Fnord ->:<- Illuminato! Fnord ->: || -> Uscita dallo Fnord ->: <- Fnord ->:<- Reimissione nello Fnord ->:<- *********************************************** REVISIONE DUCUMENTO [#A2110]:< [2110132150] - FIX [#A9.2004][2003200000] - PRE SMARTIES - xHTML pre-formatted, e Stupide correzioni minori.. - Revertata questa lista [#A8.2003][2003200000] - fù POEE - Aggiunto gradi POEE, aggiunte e correzioni minori. [#A7.2003][2003050000] - Ì È MOMOTO - Aggiunto MITO, ULTIME PAROLE, aggiunte e correzioni minori. [#A6.2002][2002010000] - Calendario Perpetuo - Aggiunto Calendario Perpetuo, aggiunte e correzioni minori. [#A5.2002][2001280000] - Scarica e Modifica - Ricontrollo e modifiche minori, aggiunte traduzioni. [#A4.2002][2001280000] - Completa & Barocca - Formattazione Migliorata e aggiunta di Fnord ->:<- - Aggiunti tutti i PRINCIPIA in lingua originale - Aggiunta ADDS in inglese TAROCCHI e links materiali. [#A3.2002][2001270000] Canonizzate Convenzoni - Sezioni razionalizzate; Formattazione Arricchita; [#A2.2002][2001260000] - Incompleta & Inufficiale - Prima Pubblica ITA - HomePage CRXM - 25 dicembre 2020 [#E.2201] - ? [#E.2207] - oggi è già domani - Summer Edition - aggiunta revisione CRXM URI - colophone alethe. no, lethe. - PAPA to =POPE= [#I.2207] - la casa dell'Hodge è ora la Casa dell'Hodge [#23031] - oro massiccio o placata; -puro *********************************************** "ILLUMINATO RICORDA! Cercando Tutto Tre Volte si trova Niente; e in fondo al Niente non esiste nientaltro dove trovare Niente. E infine che Chiunque cambi Niente cambia Tutto Immutabilmente." - Libro Ermetico dei Suggerimenti Ermetici del Consiglio Ermetico Fnord *********************************************** ->:<-